I really enjoyed the movie “The Wedding Banquet”. Banquet indeed; a perfect word for all the cultural sensitivites firing off in the movie simultaneously on so many levels as if they were Chinese fireworks !!!

Due to lineage heritage and traditional conservative values of mainland China which the Tung family kept, a lot was to be expected of their son Wai in Manhattan. Wai’s mother took immediately to Wei-Wei and the baby. To Wai’s mother, Wai’s future with Wei-Wei means everything to the future of the Family name. And so, the elaborate ceremony has become organized by Wai’s mom with the help of family friends money. Wai is constantly annoyed with his mother’s pushing ‘nagging attempts to match him with many of the girls of the villages. She so badly wants a grandchild. Once found out Wei-Wei’s expecting, the baby is of utmost importance to Wai’s parents for continuing the legacy of the family. Wai is a successful real estate professional that works with his partner Simon, but when he’s with his parents, he’s still their little boy.

Thinking about how Wai feels, his mixed emotions really have no escape. Although he could find happiness in Simon’s arms, Wai struggles within about what the world “expects”of him. And so Wai seems to be just as unhappy as he knows he could be happy because he feels left incomplete with unexpressed, unresolved anger at himself because of his guilty feelings.

There is a vast array of many rituals for the global diversity of wedding ceremonies. In our classroom movie “The Wedding banquet” Wei-Wei changes her outfit at least four times through the evening. Not to mention the fifth outfit when pressured by their family friends she and Wai both unchanged into their birthday suits to christen the bed.  Wei-Wei represented family heritage in a white gown and formal ritual in others, including a pink party dress but all the while is only herself when she is in worn torn jeans.

In 2003, I had a Chinese friend in Texas who wore her red dress to her wedding. She was 4 feet tall and married a 6 foot tall Norseman. If that wedding wasnt an explosion of culture shock I dont know what is! I’ll never experience another melding of families like I did that day. Both families unfortunately stayed apart because of a language barrier and extreme contrast in cultures. It is a sad fact that for some (like shown in the movie) that marriage can be used as an economical solution and not a decision for it’s original traditional commitment to natural human love and attraction.

I admire Wai’s father Mr. Gao because he does everything in his power to keep his personal composure just to uphold the Tung “family honor”. Mr. Gao’s love for his son’s happiness outweighed his struggle within overcoming his personal prejudices against Wai’s homogeneous lifestyle.

The movie really showed the depth of love a family can posses for each other. Simon and Mr. Gao are very special people. Mr. Gao is ashamed that Wai doesn’t want to fulfill their dreams, that he wants a life of his own, that he didn’t turn out as they had hoped. But he also cares about his lover Simon, and you know what has drawn them together is that they care about other the other’s of the family. Both love Wai for drastic different reasons. Wai’s happiness is the quintessential issue. The two men find together what bond can exist when prejudices are overlooked for the betterment of the bottom line.

It is all too often the world cannot find this common ground blinded by harboring hatred. Unfortunately these feelings with no outlet lead sometimes to unnecessary violence; such is human nature. Wai’s parents’ unconditional love should be seen as an inspiration to us all !